A note about rejection.
I was speaking with a client during her session recently and she shared with me how much she has been rejected as of late, particularly by romantic partners.
She was doing boudoir so that she can see and celebrate herself since she’s been so weighed down by this rejection.
She was talking about how devastating it is to be rejected so many times and how much it hurts her. How she feels like something is wrong with her. How nothing ever works out. I then said, “Do you feel like this rejection confirms all the negative thoughts you have about yourself?” She answered, “Yes.”
Never missing a chance to coach during my sessions, I had to share something with her.
You have to stop looking at rejection as a personal rejection. You have to stop internalizing it.
They didn’t reject YOU, they rejected a relationship.
When you internalize the rejection and you think something is wrong with you, you can sometimes start to want to change who you are to be accepted by another. That change could be physical, emotional, mentally. You can start to pretend to be someone different, say you like things you don’t, etc. And when you do that it pushes you further away from your authentic self.
People will never see the real you because you will do anything to avoid that rejection. You will play the game and be what they want you to be, not who you are.
When you internalize the rejection, you live or die by another’s acceptance of you.
You should only be looking to yourself for acceptance.
Again, they didn’t reject YOU, they rejected the relationship.
Looking at it this way allows you to remove yourself from the rejection. You don’t internalize it as much when you realize that they rejected someTHING not someONE.
I saw a shift in her in that moment as a light bulb went off. In my space, women open up to me, share super vulnerable things, they let me in. It’s not enough for me to just take their photos, I am there to listen to them, support them, guide them. This is more than “JUST” boudoir photos. This is why getting my self love life coach certification was so important to me. I use it in almost every session!