You Don’t Need Someone to Save You

There is a story females are told when they are younger – a young handsome prince will come to save you from your life.  Give you everything you dreamed of and you’ll live happily ever after.  This is how it was for me.  All those Disney movies I loved all seemed to have a damsel in distress, with a prince waiting to sweep her off her feet.

This was the story of my life.  Instead of focusing on me, I was always waiting around for my prince.  When I didn’t get married right after college, I felt like a failure even though I was beginning to build my corporate career.  I had much to look forward to but always felt like I was wrong.

Well, I am MY OWN young handsome prince and I don’t need anyone else BUT ME!

You Don’t Need Someone Else to Save You

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we need someone else to save us. We look to others to make us feel loved, valued, and whole. We think that if we could just find the right person, they would make everything better.

But the truth is, we don’t need someone else to save us. We just need to stand up for ourselves and know that we’re enough as we are. Here’s why:

You’re Capable of Saving Yourself

You’re stronger than you think. You have the power to change your life and create the future you want. You don’t need someone else to do it for you. You just need to believe in yourself and take action.

You’re Enough as You Are

You don’t need someone else to make you feel complete. You’re already complete on your own. You have your own strengths, talents, and abilities that make you unique and valuable. You don’t need someone else to validate your worth.

You Deserve to Be Treated Well

You don’t need someone else to save you from a bad situation. You deserve to be treated well, and you have the right to stand up for yourself when someone mistreats you. You don’t need someone else to rescue you. You can rescue yourself by setting boundaries and standing up for what you deserve.

You Can Build a Support System

You don’t need someone else to save you, but that doesn’t mean you have to do everything alone. You can build a support system of friends, family, and professionals who can help you when you need it. You can lean on them for support and guidance, but you don’t need them to save you.

You’re in Control of Your Life

Ultimately, you’re in control of your life. You get to decide what you want and how you want to live. You don’t need someone else to save you because you have the power to create the life you want.

Once again:  you don’t need someone else to save you. You’re capable of saving yourself, you’re enough as you are, you deserve to be treated well, you can build a support system, and you’re in control of your life. Remember these things the next time you feel like you need someone else to save you. You’ve got this!

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FAQ – What is Your Wardrobe Collection?

Continuing my FAQ series here on the blog with a common question about wardrobe!

Lots of clients ask whether they should bring their own lingerie or if I supply the lingerie.

The good news for clients is that I have a specially curate collection of over 400 (almost 500) pieces that clients are free to use for their session.  While clients do bring items themselves, they are always free to look at the collection and pull pieces that interest them.  If you attend a pre session consultation, you can look at the collection and even try things on.

I have everything from bodysuits, teddys, bra and panty sets, fishnets, robes, wings, jewelry, crowns, cuffs and collars….and so much more!!  I have spent a great deal of time and investment into a complete collection.

Here is some more information on what I have.

The 400 Piece Lingerie Collection at My Boudoir Studio: A Guide to Choosing the Perfect Pieces

As the owner of a boudoir studio, I understand the importance of providing my clients with a wide range of lingerie options to choose from. That’s why I have curated a collection of 400 pieces of lingerie, ranging from delicate lace to edgy leather, to suit every style and preference. Here’s a guide to choosing the perfect pieces from my collection:

The Basics

My collection includes classic pieces such as bra and panty sets.  There are also simple panties to be included as well should we need something basic under an outfit.   These are perfect for creating a timeless and elegant look, and they work well with any outfit or setting.

The Bold and the Beautiful

For clients who want to make a statement, my collection includes bold and colorful pieces, including corsets, bodysuits, and teddies. These pieces are perfect for adding a pop of color or creating a dramatic look.

The Delicate and the Feminine

For clients who prefer a more delicate and feminine look, my collection includes pieces made from soft lace, silk, and chiffon. These pieces are perfect for creating a romantic and dreamy atmosphere.  One of my favorites is the white butterfly robe!

The Edgy and the Naughty

For clients who want to push the boundaries and explore their wild side, my collection includes pieces made from leather, vinyl, and mesh. And oh, those fishnets! These pieces are perfect for creating an edgy and daring look.

The Perfect Fit

No matter what style or preference my clients have, I make sure that each piece in my collection fits perfectly. My collection is extremely size inclusive – I offer a range of sizes, from XS to 5XL!

The Cleanliness and Hygiene

I understand that cleanliness and hygiene are crucial when it comes to lingerie. That’s why I make sure to clean and sanitize each piece 4 TIMES after every use.  See my post from last week about my cleaning procedures.

In conclusion, my collection of 400 pieces of lingerie is the perfect way to add a touch of glamour, elegance, and sensuality to any boudoir photoshoot. With a wide range of styles, sizes, and materials to choose from, my clients are sure to find the perfect pieces to suit their preferences and needs.

 

Please note:  Using the collection is different from me styling your session!  When styling, I shop and choose everything that you will wear.  You arrive the day of your session with 8-10 options!

 

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Introducing …. The Dancer Pole

Meet the newest addition to the studio!  The dance pole!

It’s something I’ve wanted for awhile, as I love the expression, the release and the artistry that it creates within a boudoir photo shoot.

I have taken classes myself and WOW is it a workout.  Pole dancers are incredibly talented, flexible and strong.  I used muscles I did even know I had.

Let’s start this session addition by being clear about three things.

First, this is NOT a stripper pole and don’t call it that (see why below).  It’s simply a dance pole that anyone can use.  I have found the dance pole community to be one of the most inclusive and accepting communities around.  They embrace all bodies, all humans, all skill levels.

Also, when you use this, unless you have extensive pole training, it’s not like I’m going to have you sky high climbing on the pole.  You would need training for that.

Lastly, this pole’s weight limit is 400 lbs.  I invested in a size inclusive pole!

You can now add the dance pole to your boudoir session, the option can be found on the booking page!

Here are two things I want to highlight within this post:  1) why using a pole is an extra sexy enhancement to your boudoir session; 2) why we’re not ever going to refer to this as a “stripper pole.”

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Why Using a Dance Pole in Your Boudoir Photo Shoot is Sexy

Boudoir photography is a beautiful way to celebrate your body and your sexuality. It’s a chance to capture your sensuality and femininity in a way that makes you feel confident and empowered. One way to add an extra element of sexiness to your boudoir photo shoot is by incorporating the dance pole. In this post, I want to highlight why using the pole in your boudoir photo shoot is a great addition to your session and how it can enhance your overall experience.

Adds a Sense of Playfulness

Using the pole in your session can add a sense of playfulness and fun to your session. It gives you the opportunity to try something new and embrace your inner dancer. You can experiment with different poses and movements, and let your body flow freely. It’s a chance to let loose and have fun while capturing beautiful and sensual images.

Enhances Your Confidence

Dancing on a pole requires a certain level of confidence and strength. By incorporating a dance pole into your boudoir photo shoot, you’re challenging yourself and pushing your boundaries. This can help to enhance your overall confidence, both during the shoot and in your everyday life. It’s a chance to feel strong, sexy, and empowered.

Adds a Unique Element

Using a dance pole in your boudoir photo shoot adds a unique element that sets your images apart. It’s not something that everyone does, and it can make your photos stand out in a beautiful and memorable way. It’s a chance to create images that are truly unique to you and your personality.  I photograph this a few different ways with unique light set ups – including fog and neons.

Celebrates Your Body

Dancing on a pole is a beautiful way to celebrate your body and all that it’s capable of. It’s a chance to embrace your curves, your strength, and your sensuality. By incorporating a dance pole into your boudoir photo shoot, you’re celebrating your body in a way that’s both beautiful and empowering.  You’ll see and appreciate your body in a whole new way!

Using the pole at the studio is a sexy and empowering way to celebrate your body and your sexuality. It adds a sense of playfulness, enhances your confidence, adds a unique element, and celebrates your body in a beautiful way. If you’re considering a boudoir photo shoot, consider incorporating a dance pole for a truly unforgettable experience. Remember, boudoir photography is all about celebrating your body and your femininity, and a dance pole can help you do just that.

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Why a Dance Pole Should Not Be Called a Stripper Pole

The term “stripper pole” is often used to refer to a dance pole, which is a pole used for fitness and dance purposes. This term can be damaging and stigmatizing, as it perpetuates negative stereotypes about pole dancing and those who participate in it. In this post, we’ll explore why a dance pole should not be called a stripper pole and how it can harm the perception of pole dancing as a legitimate form of fitness and art.

Pole Dancing as a Legitimate Form of Fitness

Pole dancing has gained popularity as a legitimate form of fitness in recent years. It requires strength, flexibility, and endurance, and can provide a full-body workout. Many studios offer pole dancing classes as a way to improve fitness and build confidence. By referring to a dance pole as a “stripper pole,” it undermines the legitimacy of pole dancing as a form of fitness and reduces it to a sexualized stereotype.

Perpetuating Negative Stereotypes

The term “stripper pole” perpetuates negative stereotypes about pole dancing and those who participate in it. It suggests that pole dancing is only used for sexual purposes and that those who participate in it are promiscuous or immoral. This stigma can be harmful to those who enjoy pole dancing as a form of fitness or art, as it can lead to judgments and discrimination.

Pole Dancing as an Art Form

Pole dancing is also a legitimate form of art. Many dancers use the pole as a way to express themselves creatively and artistically. They use the pole as a prop to enhance their movements and create beautiful and visually stunning performances. By referring to a dance pole as a “stripper pole,” it reduces the artistry of pole dancing to a sexualized stereotype and undermines the hard work and creativity of those who practice it.

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Do not demean the dance pole community but labeling this a “stripper pole.” This term is damaging and stigmatizing, and perpetuates negative stereotypes about pole dancing and those who participate in it. Pole dancing is a legitimate form of fitness and art, and should be respected as such. By using the correct terminology and recognizing the skill and creativity involved in pole dancing, we can help to break down stereotypes and promote a more positive and inclusive view of this beautiful and empowering art form.

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Now, let’s have some FUN!!

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FAQ – How I Clean My Wardrobe Collection

I thought it would be a good idea to create a blog series answering some of the most frequently asked questions I receive about my boudoir sessions.  It’s always important for you to ask any questions you have, and it’s equally important that I answer those questions.

First up in the series….

How Do I Clean the 400 Piece Lingerie Collection at My Boudoir Studio

As the owner of a boudoir studio, I have a collection of 400 pieces of lingerie that clients can use for photoshoots. Keeping the collection clean and well-maintained is crucial for the success of my business. A common question I am asked is how I clean the items that are used during photo shoots.

I’ll explain what I do in this post, but it’s important for me to tell you that I treat the cleanliness as I wish a photographer would if I was a client.

I clean each used piece FOUR TIMES BY HAND before it’s put back on the rack!

Here’s how I do it:

Sorting and Prepping

Before I begin cleaning, I sort the lingerie into piles based on their color and fabric type. This helps me to choose the right cleaning method for each piece. Some of the fabrics of the pieces are very delicate so some need to be treated with extra care.  Also, I need to sort by color as some of the dyes from the fabrics can bleed into other colors (I learned this the hard way at the beginning of my wardrobe collection).

I also check for any damage or stains that need to be treated before washing.  I do decide that some pieces have served their purpose and should be discarded.

Hand Washing

There is no machine washing used on my items.  First comes the hot soak of the items – I let them soak for about 20 minutes.

I had wash everything, four times!   I use a gentle, sensitive detergent and lukewarm water to wash each piece individually. I avoid using fabric softeners or bleach, as they can damage the delicate fabrics.

The most unglamorous part of being a boudoir photographer is scrubbing the “crotch” of outfits!  But, I take it very seriously!

The soak and washing process is repeated four times.

Drying

I never put lingerie in the dryer, as the high heat can damage the fabrics and elastic. Instead, I hang each piece to air dry. I avoid hanging lingerie by the straps, as this can cause them to stretch out of shape. Instead, I hang them by the center front or back.

Storage

Once the lingerie is dry, it is put back on the wardrobe collection rack. I avoid folding it, as this can cause creases and wrinkles. Instead, I hang each piece on a hanger or store it in a drawer.

By following these steps, I am able to keep my 400 piece lingerie collection clean, well-maintained, and ready for use in my boudoir studio.

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Stop Diminishing Yourself

Stop diminishing yourself!

During a session recently, my client kept saying good things about herself and then she would brush off what she said by elaborating that she’s not THAT good at these things.

The first time I heard her do this, I let it slide.  I’ve been known to do this myself as part of my humor.  Then I heard her do it again.  And again.  And again.

The first time, you can joke around.  To say it repeatedly, no way!  Coach Maura had to step in!

After the 5th time I witnessed her doing this, I said, “STOP DIMINISHING YOURSELF!”  I went on to tell her what I observed – every time she says she’s good at something or is proud of something she accomplished, she immediately dismisses the achievement.  She downplays her capabilities.  She brushes off the amazing accomplishments, she scoffs at what she’s worked hard for, she rejects the efforts made outside her comfort zone.

All the things that make her special and unique, she denies.

Yes, she’ll admit it at first, but then she brushes it off.

She negates herself.

She diminishes what she’s done.

When she does that, she’s sending herself the message that she’s not that good, she shouldn’t boast, people are going to think she’s cocky, she needs to be quiet, she should play smaller in life.

This robs her of all the joy she feels about what she’s done in her life!

This steals her self esteem.

She might not realize it at first, but the messages she’s sending subconsciously are loud and clear.

I asked her why she downplays herself.

She said she didn’t want people to think she was conceited.

Hard stop.

First, what does it matter what other people think?

Do they know how hard you worked?

Do they know the challenges you faced in becoming the woman you are today?

Do they know how much you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone?

Do they know what it takes to live your life day in and day out?

Likely not.

But, you give what others think so much weight to your confidence that you will change how you speak to and think about yourself.  Unfortunately, you are your own worst critic so this doesn’t boost your self esteem, it just tears it down.  What others think has no business taking up your mental space!

If you want the world to see your accomplishments, you have to own them first!  YOU are the gateway in seeing yourself completely with love and acceptance.  No one is going to recognize you without you first saying “Here’s what I did.”

Your internal thought patterns are the first thing that need an adjustment.

You are building your confidence, your strength, your abilities and that is a worthwhile endeavor.

When it comes down to it, if you would celebrate someone else or cheer another on for the same thing you have done, then you should stand up and applaud for yourself!!

You learned Pilates?  “HELL YES”

You wrote a book?  “YOU ARE BADASS”

You are a nurse?  “KUDOS”

You survived the day?  “ALL PROPS TO YOU”

You may respond, “it’s not that big a deal,” and I will say, “YES IT IS!”

When you lessen your efforts, you become a detriment to yourself.

You damage your self esteem.

Instead of building your confidence, you are burning it down.

Stand on the pedestal, loud and proud, of the powerful woman you are, and recognize all that you have achieved!

Second, I want you to understand that confidence and conceit are NOT the same thing.

Conceited individuals have an excessively favorable opinion of their abilities and their importance, even to the detriment of others.  Conceit means that there are winners and losers, and those conceited individuals are always the winners.  The biggest things I’ve seen in conceited people is that they constantly criticize other people and they focus only on themselves.

Conceit can NEVER be associated with confidence.

Confident individuals don’t need to put others down to feel good about themselves, they are comfortable with who they are, they focus more on others because they want others to feel good.

Conceit and cocky do not exist in my world when it comes to YOU.

Honor those things about yourself that you might constantly downplay to others.

STOP telling yourself that the things you do don’t matter or that it’s not that big a deal or that others will think you are better than them.

Show yourself some respect by acknowledging who you are, what you’ve achieved, how far you’ve come.

From the littlest thing to the biggest thing in your life – you are worth those accolades.

You are a strong badass woman forging ahead in life and making a path of her own!

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