Why Can’t You Do It With Their Clothes On?

My mother recently asked me why I love boudoir so much.  I explained to her that showing women a side of themselves, watching them embrace and celebrate who they are, and seeing their confidence soar to new heights is an amazing thing for me to be a part of.  Her response, “Yeah, that’s great.  But, why can’t you do it with their clothes on?”

Great question Mom!  One that I had an answer for and I’d like to share it with you on the blog today.

pittsburgh boudoir photography celebrating women as they take their mask off

When you have to strip down in next to nothing with someone you don’t know, there’s no more hiding.  You are standing in front of someone in your most vulnerable state – you can’t back away.  Everything that you fear showing to other people is out there to see.  Stretch marks, cellulite, lumps and bums – it’s all there.  My clients may see it, they my *try* to hide it, but guess what – it doesn’t matter to me.  These things we hide from others mean nothing to me.  There is complete and total liberation from those things.  You finally begin to strip off the mask that you’ve been hiding behind.  You step into the light and shine.

You can only begin to accept and embrace when you take that mask away.

One of the biggest things you start to learn is that others don’t see what you see.  You can’t begin to realize that until you drop the mask and walk towards someone that can show you how amazing you are!

A total embrace can happen!

So much freedom is found when you embrace everything about yourself…your perceived flaws and all.  You learn to stop caring what other people think because you realize that no one focus on the things that you do.  Other people look at you and see what kind of friend you are, the love you give, the compassion you share, the joy you bring.  By stripping your mask away, you see what’s inside you and begin to know that that’s what matters most.

You become the example for other women.  You become someone who will inspire others to strip off their own mask and begin a journey of their own!

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The Face of a Hypocrite

Yup, that’s me.  Maura Chick.  I’m outing myself as a hypocrite.

Pittsburgh Boudoir Photographer, Maura Chick, photographed by Miranda Parker Boudoir

You see, all day I tell women to focus on themselves, make them a priority in their life, everyone is better when you feel good, etc.  I could go on and on about all the things I tell women to do to take care of themselves.

“Do something just for you”

“It’s worth it”

“You need to invest in yourself”

Except I don’t.  When it comes to myself, everyone is before me.  My husband, my family, my business, my clients….there’s me.  Dead last.  Why do I do this?  I sense it’s because I think if I give and give and give that I’ll feel good about myself, that I’ll feel like the struggle was worth it somehow.  Or, maybe deep down it’s that I feel everyone is more important than me.  The problem is that I give so much, there’s nothing left to give myself.  I have no energy.  I have no time.  I have no strength to pull myself up out of bed when I finally decide to rest.  It’s exhausting and it’s taking a toll on me.

If I can’t be good to myself, I can’t be any good to my clients.  That’s the rough lesson I learned this year.

The other lesson – don’t be me!

For those of you that don’t know, I herniated a disc in my lower back in Setember of 2016.  At the time, I didn’t know it was a herniated disc, just thought it was another bout with my back.  I got better that time after steroids and chiropractic appointments.  Fast forward to January 2017, I was dealing with immense nerve pain.  Debilitating pain that would bring me to my knees, unable to sleep, unable to focus.  I continued to shoot, I continued to do everything for my clients, I had a photo shoot the day after being in the ER to get pain meds, I shot the DAY I passed out twice at the doctors.  I pushed myself to the limit, then I fell apart – all without my clients really knowing how bad it was.  The pain became so intense that I was using a walker, unable to really take care of myself (God bless my husband).  It was time for surgery.  I put it off far to long.

I had to cancel shoots, re-schedule viewings, take 6 weeks off (WHAT!) for recovery.  In my mind, I kept saying that I had so much more to give, I could still shoot, could push myself further to not let anyone down.  But, I didn’t.  I was on empty (E).  I needed to fill up my tank.

There’s no where to go when you’re on E.

Sometimes we have a hard time seeing it.  Sometimes we think that we can just give a little bit more.  Sometimes we feel like we’ll be judged if we do something for ourselves.  Sometimes we don’t realize how far gone we are until it’s too late.  Sometimes we think the tears of exhaustion are joy.  They aren’t.  They are a sign to slow down, a sign to re-evaluate what you’re doing to yourself, a sign to step back and take care of what you’ve been putting off.  Time to realize that you are just as important as everyone else in your life!  I’m telling you to your sweet gorgeous face that YOU are just as important.  You need the care and attention you shower onto others!  We all do!

You see, self-care and self-love are VITAL to our survival.  They’re vital to the survival of those around us.  I realized that I have a lot of people that depend on me and I was fooling myself thinking I was giving them anything of value.  No one wants a half-assed Maura! 🙂  Lets be honest, I was still doing everything in my power for my clients – they loved their sessions, their photos and products.  But, I knew I needed to replenish.  I pushed myself to the limits, and then the dam broke.

I’m here to tell you that you MUST take care of yourself, you MUST make yourself a priority in your life, you MUST realize the importance of your personal tank.  No one can do that but you.  NO ONE!  You alone have the power to say that it’s time for you.  It’s not selfish.  It’s self preservation.  No one has the right to judge you for how you live your life.  You are doing what YOU decide is important for yourself and your family.  Working out makes you feel better – GREAT, do it whenever you find time.  Going out to eat makes you feel special – Fabulous, enjoy a meal with yourself.  Getting massages and facials relaxes you, amazing – keep at it.  Getting pedicures and manicures to indulge yourself – why not!  Spending time alone with a cup of coffee is what you need, then by all means DO IT!  We’re not sacrificing the needs in our life to do little things for ourselves, but relishing in these things makes us feel like an individual, it invigorates us to shower more love on others, and it empowers us to encourage others to do the same!

I’m no good to you, my dear clients, if I’m not good to myself.

There I said it.  And I don’t want to just be “good” to you….I want to be GREAT, AMAZING AND WONDERFUL!  I want to continue to able to give each and every client everything I have in me to give, but in order to do so, I have to make myself a priority and I have to set boundaries!  This year has taught me a lot about the self love journey that I share with everyone.  I will be an active participant in my journey and I will live by what I tell others to do.

For 2018, I vow to no longer be a hypocrite.  I will practice what I preach.  I will make myself a priority.  I will say “NO” (all caps on purpose haha) to things that don’t align with what I want to do.  I don’t want to get to E again.

In all the amazing business success for 2017, this is the hardest lesson I’ve learned personally.  The importance of me!  The importance of you too!

For 2018, I’m not letting my tank get lower than half full!

***

I’ll be sharing more about the awesome project I’m working on for 2018 in my private Facebook group!  I have some amazing things planned for 2018 to help us all – books, journaling, meet and greets, etc.  The group is open to all women – you can join my clicking the link below:

**Photo Credit: Miranda Parker | Boudoir

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More Love, Less Competition

pittsburgh boudoir photography female empowerment group photo shoot

What happens when you get women of all different backgrounds, all different shapes, all different ages together for a group photo shoot?  The concept was simple.  What would they experience?  What would I experience?  How would they come together?  Would they share in the glory of each other?  Would they embrace what makes them similar and celebrate what makes them unique?

So many questions went through my mind as I thought about this shoot.  I knew I wanted it to happen, I knew what I wanted to prove with this shoot.  Every day, surrounding us are images of other women, other people that we are supposed to look up to.  We begin to feel like we aren’t a good enough mom, not the best wife, need to lose more weight, have to have the best skin, must buy better clothes.  It’s never enough, WE are never enough.  Just go look at your news feeds on social media – it’s in our face all the time.  Here’s the honest truth from me — you are amazing just as you are!  It’s time to celetebate and love yourself, stop comparing yourself to what you see, and stop competing with others around you.  Because, guess what – at the end of the day – we all share a similar journey.  We’re just trying to be the best version of ourselves.  And, there’s more commonality in each other than there are differences.

More Love, Less Competition!

Each woman.  So unique.  So beautiful.  I wanted to show them that even in their differences they had more that bound them together.  I wanted to push their comfort zone.  Nothing about this was going to be familiar to them.  I knew that getting them into an uncomfortable situation was going to help them to grow.  Outside, in front of each other, nowhere to hide, you can’t conceal your cellulite, stretch marks will be there for everyone else to see.  But, they would SHINE like stars during the time we shared together.

Each felt a bond, gained a new level of confidence, and saw themselves through my eyes and the eyes of others.  So much empowerment is to be gained when we stop competing with each other and embrace the journey we all share.

We’re better together…this PROVED it!

Watching them embrace themselves, and shower love and encouragement to the others that stand with them. No more competition. No more comparison. No “I wish I looked like that.”  No “I’m not as pretty as so and so.” Just a total embrace of everything you are and everything you offer to this world!! The imperfections that each woman sees on their body aren’t even focused on by the other women. They see courage, power, strength, vulnerability, humility, compassion, determination.  They see you for WHO you are!

What I saw is that each of them struggle with something. They worry about certain parts of their body…NONE of them are immune to those concerns. We all have them. At the same time, though, we have to work at changing our focus. There is so much beauty in ourselves that goes far beyond what our bodies look like!  We must choose to focus on the aspects of ourselves that make us who we are – your personality, your spirit, your soul.  The depth that we have as women far surpasses our surface looks!

Hearing them encourage each other as individual photos were taken was unbelievably uplifting – you could see the confidence soar to new heights of the woman that was in front of my camera. It wasn’t just me yelling positive things to each woman … I got to hear the other women encourage her, hoot at her, make her feel like a supermodel. The joy (energy, love, understanding) you feel when someone recognizes you for the amazing woman you are is a wonderful thing to capture! You see, there’s no hiding during something like this. Don’t like your cellulite, oh well – it’s there for them to see. Want to hide behind someone else?  You can’t. What you begin to see is that we all have these things we worry about – stretch marks, cellulite, rolls, lumps, bumps…but, it’s all there in each of us.  It’s not abnormal, it’s not something to be ashamed of, you can still be a kick ass woman, take part in a photo shoot and have stretch marks.  The more you see it, the more comfortable you become.  Don’t hide from it – come face to face with it – that’s what I wanted to do.

No more hiding!

The lesson you learn is that while you are vastly different women, you share some common charactertiscs. And, the heaviness that you put on yourself about these perceived imperfections begins to fall away. It’s the most empowering shoot I’ve ever put together. I felt it, they felt it. I want to help these women to take control of their feelings, focus on the real things that matter in life and share love with those around them!  We waste far too much time on things that don’t make a difference in the end.  Focus on what matters, be someone that people want to be around, encourage and uplift one another, and love.  Just love.

To me, these photos depict what real women look like.  Real women who stand up with each other, stand up beside each, stand up to lift each other up.  They represent what I try to do each and every day with every woman I photograph.  The only thing standing in your way is you!  Show more love, shower it to everyone around you.  Don’t compete.  We’re all unique and amazing beings, and we’ve got something special to share with this world!  You will never be able to find those things that bind you together if you are constantly comparing and competing.

It’s all about love – love for others; love for yourself!

Enjoy some photos from the session.  I’ll include some quotes from the ladies themselves!

 

outdoor boudoir photo shoot in pittsburgh PA with 9 women

boudoir photo shoot with two women during female empowerment shoot in pittsburgh

outdoor boudoir photo shoot in pittsburgh PA with 9 women

From Kari, “The ambassador shoot absolutely meant the world to me. I’ve never met such strong, beautiful and above all kind women in my life and I’m honored to call them my tribe. Maura’s vision and these ladies’ drive will change the world, one empowering photo shoot at a time.”

From Ashley, “I cried with such happiness and pride to have been a part of something so amazing.  Maura this shoot was so amazing and uplifting for me.  To finally be in a room full of gorgeous women and to not feel like any of them were judging me or worrying that they were picking apart my flaws like I do.  Not a single one of them did anything but love what each and everyone of us brought to the table.  I am a better person now just from being a part of this shoot.  I see women in a whole new light.  Thank you for letting me be a part of something so fu*&king awesome!”

I gave them one photo where I removed cellulite, at their request.  It’s the below photo: pittsburgh boudoir photography female empowerment group photo shootpittsburgh boudoir photography female empowerment group photo shoot

Lastly, I’d just like to tell every single one of these women how much they mean to me!  These are all past clients of mine who have touched my life more than they’ll ever know.  Their journey continues long after their shoot, and sharing my life and business with them has been a wonderful thing for me.  These women stand beside me in spirit each day.  THEY motivate me, THEY push me, THEY make me want to be the best version of myself.  I thank them from the bottom of my heart for going along with my crazy idea.  Kari, Ellen, Shannon, Alysse, Athena, Leah, Ashley, Heather and Angela – I LOVE YOU!  You showcase everything I want to be!

(For the record, everyone was so nervous at the beginning to be outside….by the end, they climbed onto a truck bed without hesitation.  That release is so wonderful to see – it happens in every single photo shoot)

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{Inspiration Shoot} Fur!

I love getting to be creative!  The creative side of running a photography business is the best part of the job.  After all, I’m an artist and I want to continue to hone my craft.  As I look around at various sites for outfits for my collection or for clients, I find items that immediately spark my interest.  The fur coat was just that!

I found this coat online and immediately knew that I needed it.  I was inspired – I knew exactly how I would style it, I knew exactly how I would have hair and makeup done, I knew exactly where the shoot would take place.  It all just came to me and that creative side of me was ready to go….in fact, she couldn’t wait (yes, I just talked about myself in the third person!).

Here’s the thing … when I get inspired like this, I can hardly think about anything else but that until it’s out of my head into my camera!  The creative takes over, it sees everything, and it NEEDS to get out.  With my crazy busy schedule, I wasn’t expecting to have time to do it soon but then a random cancellation happened and I wanted to take advantage of that while I could!

It was magic!  From the first snap of my camera, to the editing of the images, I was inspired!  My daily inspiration comes from all my FABULOUS clients….they make my days so bright and fill me with complete and total joy!  The inspiration I found in getting this vision to come to life was something so different and something I enjoyed.  You see, I loved the creative and artistic side of photography, which is why I fell in love with it all this years ago.  I need to remember that while running a business — we often forget that.

I’m promising in 2018 to do more inspirational shoots that are just for me.  Get ready for some awesome stuff!!

Now, enjoy some photos from the session…..

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Hair and makeup by Pittsburgh Makeup Artist, Kristen Tatko

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Boudoir For Single Ladies?

A boudoir session is FOR YOU!  While most of the time my clients come to me for what starts as a gift for someone else, I adore those women who want to celebrate themselves!

Follow the links below for all the details on boudoir shoots:

~BOOK YOUR BOUDOIR! Complete a short questionnaire to start the booking process

~BOUDOIR PRICING DETAILS!  Pittsburgh Boudoir Photo Shoot Information

~ Need Assistance with Your Shoot? Check out these boudoir tips!

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In my early 20s, I spent too much energy trying to be something I wasn’t.  I felt like I was unworthy of love and I constantly tried to change myself into something or someone I thought people could love.  When I’d meet someone new, if they liked coffee, I suddenly liked coffee (though I’m a tea and caramel frap girl).  If they liked skiing, I’d *try* to ski (I hate skiing and have NEVER been successful at it).  If they liked brussel sprouts,  I did too (ugh – worst food ever).  If they weren’t creeped out by the word “moist,” neither was I (gosh, that’s the worst word in the English language).

You see.  I didn’t think that who I was was enough for someone.  That I was always trying to find someone or something to make me happy – never realizing that I could be happy just being me.  Think of all those wasted years and tears I could have saved had I just learned this from the beginning.  When you’re content with who you are, you won’t allow yourself to get into situations where you find yourself with people who don’t value you.

This is why I love when single ladies decide to do a boudoir shoot.  I want to help them see their worth, boost their confidence, and show them that they don’t need anyone else to be amazing.  Don’t waste time on people that don’t matter.  Value yourself!

At the end of the day….

I’m Maura.

I’m raw, I’m real, and I’m unapologetically myself.

I like lighthouses, I like the ocean but hate sand, I love waterfalls, I like to hike, I love laughing, I love the smell of campfires.  I love bringing joy to the lives of women, I don’t care what pants size I am, I don’t want to hide myself from those around me.  We all deserve to be ourselves.  Learning to love ourselves is a brave thing to do but we are each so unique and so wonderful.  You don’t have to apologize for being you!!!  Just be you!  The world will accept you when they see you embracing your unique self!

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