I will leave this blog post in Mary’s words. Her story is powerful and redemptive. I adore the time I spend with her!
I just had my photo reveal yesterday with the marvelous Maura! Her love, energy, and talent are always the most uplifting experience. My second time around I was blessed to use my story to promote self-love and of course to step in front of her Camera!! If you haven’t done it yet, then I pray my story makes you decide to throw away the IF THIS OR IF THAT mentality.
Three years ago, was the first time I stepped in front of Maura’s camera. I was broken, had no self-worth, no confidence, and no love for myself. I cried maybe the whole shoot because Maura was telling me how beautiful, sexy, and powerful I was, and I just cried because at that point in my life I couldn’t believe any of those words she was saying. At that moment in my life, I was a brand-new mother and soon to be divorcee.
My story is it took me 3 years to have my miracle child and because of my fertility struggles I had to take so many hormones that ended up making me the biggest, I’ve ever been in my whole life. It took a toll on me and my marriage. I was not self-confident in anyway and didn’t even want to look into the mirror anymore.
The majority of people just said awful things to me, how fat I was, I look like I ate myself, I’m Fat, I’m ugly, I’m not attracted to you anymore. Basically, I fell apart and was left with a broken shell of who I used to be and I still needed to start my son and I’s life all over again on my own.
When I stepped in front of Maura for the first time, I lost 60lbs if not more because of the stress, post partum, and just the fact that I had no hope left for myself. I can honestly say I was the skinniest I’ve ever been in my life since High School. I was still the saddest person even when I finally accomplished my goal of losing all that weight.
I was lost, hurt and seeing myself through everyone else’s eyes and hearing their words about how they define me instead of my own eyes and thoughts.
Then I go and meet Maura.
This amazing beautiful soul with so much joy and love to share to everyone. Maura was such a blessing in my life and such a bright star! I didnt know how much I needed her until I met her. That day I walked in broken with no hope of anything being better. When I walked out of the shoot, I felt stronger than I ever felt before.
Maura lit the fire under me and reminded me of who I was and who I can be again. I honestly can say those words and her being there in that horrible time in my life started my healing process.
I saw my first photo shoot pictures and I was jaw dropped that the broken, divorced, single mom, unlovable, unattractive person, unworthy of anyone loving her…was absolutely GORGEOUS!! I saw myself through Maura’s eyes. Her eyes showed me what I should have been seeing all along. The weight gain/weight loss, the up and down yo-yo that was my life. The me that couldn’t look into the mirror because I didn’t like who was looking back at me. That viewing changed my whole world. I saw what she saw for the first time in a really long time.
I felt beautiful, strong, powerful and most of all unstoppable. Maura’s love and encouragement gave me the strength to start again!
I can never repay her enough for being the light in my darkest night I’ve ever been in!
Now fast forward three years later. I wanted to do this so that any woman that has those awful thoughts could see it’s not FOREVER!!!
When I stepped in this time I was beaming. This time she got to see the fierce, loving, great mom, and the light back in my eyes, and the strength in my heart and soul.
Ladies, I am so much better now. I love myself now and I mean all of me. Not because I am the skinniest girl or the sexiest woman ever, but because I am right where i need to be. When you love yourself, forgive yourself, and stop saying those hurtful things to yourself. You can be happy!
My second shoot my hair is completely gray, my hair is thin from all the stress I have endured with the struggles that life has brought me, my legs are big, and so on and so on. The difference is this time…I love ALL OF IT!!! My scars, my cellulite, my dimples in my butt and legs. This I can say is the happiest I have ever been in my life and who would have though all those years ago, I would be happy when I wasn’t the skinniest girl ever. I have been on my own for 3 years and I have moved mountains since that last broken girl stepped in and stood in front of that camera.
I was able to finally tell Maura my weight didn’t bother me anymore. I told her how I knew I was finally healed from all the damage people’s words have done from me and what my words have done to myself. A comment was said to me…well more a statement. “She will never show in her pregnancy, she is so much skinner than you ever will be!” Three years ago, I would have been a mess and fell to pieces.
Not this time, this time it didn’t matter what that person said to me because I knew I am strong, beautiful, loving, unstoppable, bundle of joy and look out world because here I come. I got big hips, big thighs, and a booty I love. You know why I love these attributes that used to haunt me. My big hips carry my miracle child on them daily. My big legs carried my child and I’s stuff right into our VERY FIRST HOME ON OUR OWN!! My big ole booty helped me bounce right back up every time I was knocked down! Loving yourself and seeing that what you think is flaws is actually your strongest attribute!
Ladies don’t wait until “Oh when I lose the weight”, or “you know I don’t look like those other girls”, and my personal favorite…”I don’t have anyone to show them too”! I am still a single mom and you know who I did this for….ME!!! Girlfriend’s ME!! I told Maura 3 years ago I will be back when I am happy again. I’m back and I am better than ever!! I don’t need a man, anyone’s approval, or anyone else’s love, but myself and my beautiful miracle child that stole my heart. Take the leap and do it!! I promise you won’t regret it!
Maura, thank you because I don’t know where I would be without you being in my life at that moment. These photos that you have given me started my healing and every time I was down, I would look at myself and remind me I’m a BAD ASS BITCH!! Now these photo’s below you can see my attitude is back, my smile is back, and I own this shit! When I’m down, I look at these and I get right back up again. Ladies, we are all beautiful no matter what anyone says or makes you feel like! That mirror LIES to you and if you give Maura that chance to show you that is life changing.
Just do it and no more waiting! You won’t regret it! I don’t and I can’t wait to show the fabulous Maura the woman I will be in 3 more years!