Pittsburgh Boudoir Photography that empowers YOU to love yourself!

January 16, 2024

A Personal Share: How I Know I Have Body Confidence

Being a fat person, rollercoasters have always been a trigger for me.

Back when I was 15, I went to an amusement park because I loved rides. The adventure, the excitement, the thrills. I loved it all. Well, maybe not the standing in line for hours but everything else….yes please!

I remember this day like it was yesterday. It was one of those traumatic core memories.

I went to get on the Mean Streak, a wonderful wooden coaster, I sit down and, to my utter shock, I didn’t fit into the seat.

I could not, with any amount of wiggle or jiggle, fit my body into the seat. I contorted my body so that I was basically sideways but then couldn’t get the seatbelt to buckle. The safety inspector came by to make sure I was securely in my seat and told me I had to leave the ride. If I couldn’t fit in the seat, I had to go. I insisted I would be OK, I pleaded that I would hold on, I begged in telling him that it was fine, I could ride the ride. He insisted I leave as to not further delay the ride.

Ensue the dreaded walk of shame. As everyone watched, as everyone knew why I was leaving the ride, I stepped out of the car and took the lonely walk to the exit. Just as I started crying.

As my friends rode the ride, I found a tree to sit under and sobbed, deep guttural sobs. That’s when the negative talk in my head went into overdrive.

It sounded something like this: Why are you so pathetic? Why are you so fat? Why can’t you be better? Gosh, you’re ugly. Why can’t you get your act together and lose weight? You’re so stupid. You should be able to get thin. This is why you don’t put yourself out in the world: this rejection is brutal. This public shame is unbearable. Everyone will leave you behind. Fat, ugly, stupid, pathetic, pitiful, PIG. You disgust me.

It was all my fault. More definitively: it was my body’s fault.

Certainly, my body was the problem.

I chastised myself. I degraded myself. I hated myself.

My day was over. I couldn’t go on. I didn’t dare try to get on another ride and this happen again. Nope, not putting myself thru that one more time.

I cried the rest of the day.

I berated myself for weeks, months.

I spoke so negatively about myself and the way I looked that I can’t even imagine a single positive thought entering my mind at that time.

I didn’t eat anything for 5 days.

Hoping to make myself smaller for the world. Hoping that changing my body would prevent this from ever happening again.

Because in my eyes, my body was the problem. My body created this problem.

Everything about me was wrong, I felt terrible.

Fast forward a number *ahem* of years and it happened again. This time in front of my nieces during this Christmas.

We went to an amusement park for kids, my youngest niece loves it there, so I never miss an opportunity to take her. She wanted to ride the roller coaster. One that adults can fit onto as well. While standing in line, I asked one of the workers if I was ok to ride this ride. He confirmed yes.

The doors open and I stepped onto the ride, a little fear entered my mind. The seatbelt fit. Phew.

But then the security worker came around and pulled the overhead bar down. She pushed down and it wouldn’t click shut.

She asked me to sit up straighter. I did.

She pushed down again, and it wouldn’t click shut.

She put her whole weight into pushing the bar down, so hard I thought she was going to break my hips.

I said, “I can just get off.”

She pushed down even harder. I said again “I can get off the ride.”

For the second time in my life, I did a rollercoaster walk of shame.

I grabbed my shoes from the cubby holes and walked off the ride.

I was disappointed because I wanted to take that 20 second ride with my nieces.

I was disappointed because I love to see joy and excitement on their faces.

What I wasn’t disappointed in: MYSELF.

I wasn’t mad at my body.

This time around: What I didn’t do?

I didn’t cry.

I didn’t blame and shame my body for this.

I didn’t say one negative thing about my body, or the way I look.

I didn’t say I needed to lose weight.

I didn’t say I wasn’t going to get on another ride.

I didn’t run away.

I didn’t stop enjoying myself.

My body wasn’t the problem.

The roller coaster was the problem.

Let me repeat: My body was not the problem. My body was never the problem.

There was nothing for me to fix about myself, nothing to berate myself for, because I was not the problem in this situation.

My nieces got off the ride, I greeted them with hugs and laughs.

And, I got on the next ride with a smile on my face!!

They never once heard me say anything bad about myself. All they heard was that the bar of the ride couldn’t come down all the way. I didn’t say it was because of my size, I didn’t say I was too big, nothing about ME caused me to walk off the ride.

I showed those young girls how it’s done.

This photo was taken about 5 minutes after this experience.

It was great to have the evidence of the confidence shift in my life. It was amazing to have an experience like this to show me how much I have grown the relationship with my body. These experiences don’t define me, they give me opportunities for growth.

These things in life no longer shake me, they no longer have the power to me feel bad about myself. Yes, they are disappointing, but for far different reasons than they once were. They certainly don’t bother me nor control my life, the way I feel about myself or my thoughts and actions.

In order to make a shift in my confidence, to develop deep self love, and to have unashamed respect for myself, I had to shift th
e way I thought about these experiences in my life. I had to change the thinking that I am the problem, that my body was always at fault.

It is this work that has lead me to this place. A place of remarkable love and respect, a place of peace and comfort, a place of unstoppable confidence.

If you want this kind of confidence and love for yourself, I encourage you, from the depths of my soul, to enroll in my Self Confidence Course:

It has changed my life, it can for you too!

no comments

November 2, 2023

What’s A Size?

How to Stop Being Concerned with the Size of Your Pants

boudoir photographer pittsburgh, boudoir studio lingerie photo shoot in black lace bodysuit posing against pole

We’ve all been there. We’ve tried on a pair of pants that we thought would fit perfectly, only to find that they’re too tight or too loose. And then we look at the size on the tag and feel disappointed or ashamed. But the truth is, the size on the tag doesn’t matter. Only you know that number, and it’s time to stop being concerned with it. Here’s how:

Focus on How Your Clothes Fit

Instead of focusing on the size on the tag, focus on how your clothes fit. Do they feel comfortable? Do they make you feel confident? If the answer is yes, then that’s all that matters. Clothes are meant to fit your body, not the other way around.

Cut Out the Size Tag

If the size tag is causing you stress or anxiety, consider cutting it out. You don’t need to know the size of your pants. You know how they fit and how they make you feel. Cutting out the size tag can be a small but powerful act of self-care.

Rose wall background black lace lingerie, boudoir posing at boudoir studio in pittsburgh

Remember that Sizes Vary by Brand

It’s important to remember that sizes vary by brand. A size 8 in one brand may be a size 10 in another. Don’t get hung up on the number on the tag. Focus on finding clothes that fit your body and make you feel good.

Practice Positive Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can be damaging to your self-esteem. Instead of criticizing yourself for not fitting into a certain size, practice positive self-talk. Remind yourself that your worth is not determined by the size of your pants. You are beautiful and valuable just as you are.

Embrace Your Body

Your body is unique and beautiful. Embrace it. Don’t let the size of your pants define how you feel about yourself. Focus on the things you love about your body, and celebrate them.

The size of your pants doesn’t matter. Only you know that number, and it’s time to stop being concerned with it. Focus on how your clothes fit, cut out the size tag if it’s causing you stress, remember that sizes vary by brand, practice positive self-talk, and embrace your body. You deserve to feel confident and beautiful, no matter what size pants you wear.

no comments

October 26, 2023

FAQ: Outfit Selection

Unleash Your Style: A Guide to Boudoir Outfits

One of the exciting aspects of a boudoir photography session is selecting the perfect outfits that make you feel confident, empowered, and beautiful. While lingerie is a popular choice, the possibilities for your boudoir outfit are endless. From comfy shirts to elegant silk dresses, it’s about choosing what resonates with your personal style and what makes you feel your best. In this FAQ guide, we’ll explore the variety of outfit options available for your boudoir session and how each choice can accentuate your unique beauty.

What types of outfits can I choose for my boudoir session?

At my boudoir photography studio, I believe in embracing your unique style and preferences. While lingerie is a common choice, you’re not limited to it. You can opt for shirts, suspenders, lacy bralettes, flowy silk dresses, comfy yet sexy robes, or even an oversized sweater—whatever makes you feel gorgeous and empowered. Don’t overlook different fabrics like lace, sequins, fishnet, etc! The possibilities are truly endless!

How do I decide on the right outfit for my boudoir session?

The key to selecting the perfect outfit is to choose something that reflects your personality and makes you feel confident. Consider the styles, fabrics, and colors that you love. Whether it’s something sultry, elegant, playful, or casual, the most important factor is that it makes you feel beautiful and empowered.

Can you provide guidance on outfit choices that will complement my body type?

Absolutely! I’m here to help you choose outfits that accentuate your unique features and make you feel your best. Whether you want to emphasize curves, create length, or highlight specific areas, we can recommend outfits that align with your preferences and body type. You always have access to my 400-piece wardrobe collection so you can check it out and pull things into your shoot that you might not have considered before.

Can I bring multiple outfits for my boudoir session?

Yes, definitely! In fact, we encourage it. Bringing multiple outfits allows for more variety in your photos, showcasing different sides of your personality and style. We can work together to plan how to incorporate each outfit seamlessly into your session. While we typically can get thru 3-5 outfits, I always suggest bringing 7 so that if something doesn’t work, we have more to choose from.

What should I consider when selecting colors for my outfits?

The color of your outfit can set the mood for your session. Bright, vibrant colors can evoke a playful and energetic vibe, while soft pastels or neutrals can create a more intimate and romantic atmosphere. Choose colors that resonate with you and make you feel confident and beautiful.

Can you help me style and accessorize my chosen outfits?

Absolutely! I’m here to assist you in putting together the perfect look. From suggesting accessories like jewelry and shoes to providing guidance on hairstyles and makeup that complement your outfit, we’ll ensure you look and feel stunning.

Boudoir photography is a celebration of your unique beauty and individual style. Your outfit choice plays a significant role in expressing your personality and empowering you throughout the session. We’re here to collaborate with you, helping you choose outfits that align with your vision and make you feel confident and beautiful. Remember, the sky’s the limit when it comes to outfit options—let your personality shine through and embrace the opportunity to express yourself during your boudoir session.

no comments

October 19, 2023

Taking Advantage

In today’s post, I want to share some EMPOWERING thoughts to help shift the way you think about situations when they happen to you!

As someone who has done extensive work on herself and as a coach who has worked with hundreds of women, I’ve noticed that negative thinking can be a major obstacle to personal growth, self love, confidence and success. Negative thoughts can be especially powerful when we’re feeling vulnerable, stressed, or overwhelmed by a challenging situation in your personal or professional lives.

Recently, I found myself in just such a situation. I was struggling with an issue in my business and feeling lots of negative emotions. I kept replaying the situation over and over again, ruminating on what happened and how I failed in that situation. Then I caught myself thinking, “Well, she’s taking advantage of me.”

As soon as I heard that thought, I realized it was a negative and disempowering one. It suggested that I had no control over the situation and that I was powerless to change the behaviors of others. I felt trapped and helpless.

But then I realized a hard truth that hit me square in the face:

People don’t take advantage of you.

You LET people take advantage of you.

That might seem like a small difference, but it’s actually a very important one. When you say, “They are taking advantage of me,” you’re giving someone else control over your life.

You feel like you can’t change the situation or alter your feelings, and it feels very heavy – as if you’ll never be free of this feeling.

You’re telling yourself that you can’t do anything to change the situation and that you’re a victim of circumstance.

But when you say, “I am LETTING them take advantage of me,” you’re taking ownership of the situation. You’re acknowledging that you have the power to change the way others treat you. You’re telling yourself that you can do something about the situation and that you’re not a helpless victim.

This shift in thinking is incredibly empowering. It reminds us that we have control over our lives and that we can take action to change the things that aren’t working for us. It helps us to be more proactive and less reactive in our interactions with others.

So if you find yourself in a situation where you feel like someone is taking advantage of you, try shifting your thinking. Instead of saying, “They are taking advantage of me,” say, “I am LETTING them take advantage of me.” See how it feels. Notice how it changes your perspective and your emotions.

And remember: You have the power to take control of your life and to stand up for yourself. It all starts with using empowering language when negativity presents itself in your thoughts. You have responsibility for how others treat you, so do something about it!

no comments

October 12, 2023

It’s Brave to Put Yourself Out There

It’s Brave to Put Yourself Out There and Say What You Want

Putting yourself out there and saying what you want can be a scary thing. It requires vulnerability and opening yourself up to others. It’s no wonder that many of us struggle with this. We worry about being rejected, and that fear of rejection can stop us from doing things in our lives. But it’s important to remember that rejection isn’t about you. It’s about the other person rejecting something, not someone.

When we put ourselves out there, whether it’s in our personal or professional lives, we are taking a risk. We are opening ourselves up to the possibility of rejection, criticism, or disappointment. But we are also opening ourselves up to the possibility of success, growth, and connection.

It takes courage to put yourself out there and say what you want. It takes courage to be vulnerable and to show your true self to others. But it’s worth it. When we are true to ourselves and express our desires and needs, we are more likely to attract the people and opportunities that align with our values and goals.

It’s important to remember that rejection is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. It’s simply a response to a situation or request. Don’t internalize the rejection. It’s not about you. Instead, focus on what you can learn from the experience and how you can use that knowledge to grow and improve.

So, if you’re struggling with putting yourself out there and saying what you want, remember that it’s brave to do so. CLAIM WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE! Don’t stifle yourself, or change who you are, in order to please another. It takes courage to be vulnerable and to take risks. Don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back from living your best life.